3 - Building Your Own Articulation

Toye Oyelese

Welcome back to Mindlessness. I'm Dr. Toye Oyelese, and today we're going to do the practice together. Like, I mean it—by the end of this episode, I want you to walk away with your own verbal articulation, something you can start using right away. If you're driving, or folding laundry, that's fine—maybe listen through once, then come back when you can actually give it a go. But let's get started.

Toye Oyelese

So, if you remember from earlier episodes, we talked about SW plus A plus T equals D—the words, the actions, the thoughts, all influencing your direction. Today, let's get practical. The first step is to figure out where you are, honestly, without any sugarcoating. I want you to name two or three action words that describe your current direction. And these aren't meant to be pretty—just accurate.

Toye Oyelese

Let me give you a few examples. If anxiety is the issue, maybe your words are "worrying" and "avoiding." For confidence, maybe it's "doubting" and "hesitating." Maybe you're under pressure with money and the words are "struggling" and "fearing." Yeah, the words might not be comfortable, but that's not the point. You have to know where you're starting from if you want to change direction.

Toye Oyelese

I'll tell you what mine were—in my early days as a new immigrant in British Columbia, honestly, my starting words were "struggling" and "doubting." And not just a little. Trying to prove myself in a new place, constantly second-guessing every word, every medical decision. I carried those words around like a badge—well, more like a burden. But acknowledging them, just naming the reality, was the first step. It's like when you're hiking—you can't ignore the fog and pretend you're already at the peak. You've got to say, "alright, I'm lost in the woods here, let's deal with that."

Toye Oyelese

So take a moment now. What are your words? No judgment—just accuracy. Two or three words that actually describe what you're doing or feeling, in the area where you want to make a shift.

Toye Oyelese

Now, once you've got those starting words, it's time to swap tracks. Replace each with a word that points in the direction you want to move—not away from where you are, but where you genuinely want to be. If you put "worrying" and "avoiding," maybe the new words are "trusting" and "engaging." For "doubting" and "hesitating," it could be "confident" and "decisive." It's all about positive direction. And, not to sound like a broken record, but none of this "not worrying." Your brain latches onto the negative word, and that's a whole mess to untangle.

Toye Oyelese

Now we come to the real craft: forming your articulation. This is where I talk about the Goldilocks Principle. You know, not too hot, not too cold—that sweet spot right in the middle. Your articulation statement should be clear enough to give you direction, but open enough that it doesn't trap you into one narrow outcome. If you get too specific—like, "I'll get the bank loan by March 15th and keep all twelve staff"—well, you might close yourself off to any creative solution or happy accident that chaos might send your way. It's like, the bank says no, but maybe that's exactly what needed to happen for you to find another—better—way. But if you're too vague, like, "Things will work out," your mind just wanders aimlessly.

Toye Oyelese

So, what's the sweet spot? Here's what I used during the darkest days with my clinic, when, honestly, we were three doctors in a building meant for twenty. Bills stacked up, panic creeping in. My articulation was: "I will survive. I will thrive." Six words. Over and over. It didn't lock me into a single plan. It pointed me in the right direction and let the route—however surprising it ended up being—unfold.

Toye Oyelese

Now, after you've built your statement, say it out loud. Not in your head—out loud. Does it feel awkward? Forced? Or do the words come easily, like they're, I don't know, clothing that actually fits for once? If a word trips you up, swap it. If "I will be confident" feels better than "I will have confidence," use it. This statement is yours, not mine, not anybody else's.

Toye Oyelese

Go ahead. Test it out. Say it, adjust it if needed, and then get ready for what comes next.

Toye Oyelese

Now, here's where a lot of people slip up: the repetition. If you take nothing else from this episode, remember this—it's the mindless, repeated saying of your articulation that does the heavy lifting. The prescription is simple: ten repetitions, ten times a day. That's my baseline. Ten by ten. Spread through the day, not all at once. But—if you're really under pressure, some crisis moment, you crank it up. During the clinic crisis? I was doing it two, three hundred times a day. Same six words, all day long. Not switching statements, not diluting the focus.

Toye Oyelese

The number one mistake people make is trying to believe the words. Don't. You don't need to believe them. Just repeat them—like brushing your teeth, even when you don't feel like it. That's also why you don't want to split energy between two or three articulations, no matter how many problems you think you've got. Pour all your repetition into one. It's pressure, concentrated. And don't fall into the trap of analyzing whether it's working—just do it. Don't ask yourself, "Do I feel different yet?" That's a conscious mind trick that actually gets in the way.

Toye Oyelese

And be patient. Critical mass takes time. Think months, not days. When I said "I will survive. I will thrive," I used it for years. Still go back to it sometimes, like a mental tune-up.

Toye Oyelese

Now, here's a little check-in you can use, once you've made the articulation a habit. Ask yourself—how confident am I that I can actually stick to the routine? Zero to one hundred. Then, how convicted am I that this is the right direction for me? Also zero to one hundred. If either is under eighty, there's a problem. If it's confidence, maybe it's a practical thing—embarrassment, time, saying it out loud in a crowded place. Solve for that. If it's conviction, maybe the words aren't quite right yet. Tweak them until they fit.

Toye Oyelese

One more thing—if you're struggling with serious anxiety or depression, remember what I said about the glasses analogy in a past episode. Sometimes you need proper support before you can see the way forward, and that's okay—it isn't a failure, just good sense.

Toye Oyelese

Oh, and before we wrap, I'll just mention—I've built a little tool called the Rules Framework. It's a web-based calculator for decision-making when the path isn't clear, if you want to check it out. But that's a story for another day.

Toye Oyelese

Alright, let's summarize. One: name your starting action words. Two: choose your desired direction words. Three: craft an "I will" articulation that's clear but flexible. Four: say it out loud, adjust until it fits. Five: repeat—ten by ten, or more if you need. Stick to one, focused articulation. And six: check your confidence and conviction—keep them above eighty if you can.

Toye Oyelese

This process kept me standing through years that nearly knocked me flat. It won’t solve every problem overnight, but it keeps you facing forward, buys time for the real fixes. Like brushing teeth—said that before—it’s just routine, and that routine changes things under the surface.

Toye Oyelese

So. Go ahead—build yours. Start repeating. And we'll keep going from here. I'm Dr. Toye Oyelese, and this is Mindlessness. Thanks for joining me.